Eesh

Cleveland's starters, Jake Westbrook and Kevin Millwood, have combined for 14 innings without giving up an earned run. Their offense has scored 3 runs in 18 innings. Their closer, Bob Wickman, has an ERA of 108.00. The "Tribe" is 0-2.

Is it me or are the umpires not calling many breaking ball strikes?

Bert Blyleven keeps pronouncing Seattle RF Suzuki's first name as "Eesheero." Come on, Bert, the guy's Japanese, not French. Okay, so it's your birthday and you're drunk on tv and wearing a plastic lei. Fine. But stop saying "Eesheero." Dork.

Hey, Torii Hunter, there's a venus fly trap on your face, and you look like a stupid asshole. There must be a better way to hide your little man-braces. Don't try that scorpion lipstick-holder that Rivera's got, though. You should both fire your agents. At least Pujols looks scary in that mask.

Curmudgeonly is a word, by the way.